My personal opinion is that we, as a society, have done an enormous disservice to fathers when it comes to pregnancy, birth and postpartum. We often ignore "pregnant" fathers. They aren't carrying the signs of impending fatherdom every where they go. And yet, they too, are expecting a new baby. Their lives are changing and evolving as well. But society tends to focus solely on the expectant mom.

In labor, we expect fathers to be the main support person for mom as she labors. However, we discount the fact that on the day that this woman is becoming a mother, this man is also becoming a father. It is an emotional and vulnerable time for many men. Labor is something he will never physically experience and it can often be a confusing rollercoaster ride of emotions while he tries to determine exactly what he can do best for mom in labor.

This trend of ignoring fathers often continues after the baby is born as well. At birth, the father immediately takes on the role of taking care of one more person in the family, whether that is number 3, 4, 5 or more. Fathers work hard to take care of the recovering mother and yet, they are also adjusting to new fatherhood and their own lack of sleep and experiencing their own emotional process into fatherhood.

Who takes care of the father during labor and after the birth of a baby? The answer is often no one. I believe that needs to change. Support for BOTH mom AND dad is a key element in the successful transition to parenthood.

Doulas work WITH dads both in labor and postpartum. A Doula can allow fathers to have their own experiences. In birth Doulas give dads the opportunity to simply love the mother of their child as she labors and to offer whatever support to her that comes natural for him. He can take a breather if he needs one knowing that mom is still fully supported. He can eat and rest if needed knowing that he needs to take care of himself so he can be the best support to mom and that he'll need to have stored up some energy for after baby is born! Doulas also offer answers to dad's questions along the way so he understands all that is taking place and how labor is progressing.

In the pospartum period a Doula can, again, ease a father's transition and allow him the opportunity to find his own way and receive support for himself as well. A Postpartum Doula is there to support the entire family as they make their transition to adding a new person into the fold. A Postpartum Doula can help with the basic chores around the house and let dad simply have time to be with his new family and not shoulder the main load while he is adjusting to his own new role of father. A Postpartum Doula makes sure EVERYONE in the house is well nourished and supported and gives the family time to just enjoy, and get to know, one another.

Families who are fully supported during pregnancy, birth and postpartum have a much higher likelihood of a healthy transition as they become a growing family. We, as a society, owe that to all new parents. Doulas are helping with that role by supporting one family at a time.

To read more information about Dads and Birth Doulas, click here for a .pdf file at the Doulas of North America (DONA) website. For more information about Dads and Postpartum Doulas, click here.